82. Homo Hygienicus
82. Homo Hygienicus

82. Homo Hygienicus

Vienna 6/3/2021

Gradually the awareness of the new day returns to me. My eyes are closed Just a moment – that’s good. The clock radio is still silent so I can still keep my eyes closed. I reach for my face. Yes! It didn’t slip while I slept. My protection, my most important weapon. Thanks to her, I’m still alive.

I’m listening to the radio – so it’s time to get up. “Today 684 people died of the Corona Virus.” And I’m still alive!

I disinfect my hands in the bathroom. Yes, it is very important. I am using the best product I could buy. I do the same with my toothbrush. I tilt the mask slightly to brush my teeth. It’s only because I’m careful that I’ve made it to this day.

I don’t take off my gloves in the elevator. Fortunately it was empty. If someone were inside, I would have to go up the stairs without touching the railing.

I met this Smith on the street again on the way to the editorial office. He went without a mask and even smiled at me. Rude selfish. I don’t understand people like that. If you are tired of life that is your business, but why are you ignoring basic hygiene. After all, it is a threat to the healthy. Once I even called the police that a not masked neighbor was walking down the street, but they ignored me. They said that when they came he wouldn’t be there anymore. And they didn’t come.

Fortunately, my boss is a sensible man. When I told him a week ago that a work colleague from the family department was walking down the hall without a mask and even wanted to shake my hand, he punished him and no one knew that I had initiated it.

We have been fighting for the truth in our editorial team for over a year. Yes, it’s a fight because there are also supporters of conspiracy theories – I don’t know what to call them anymore. We keep receiving information that there are groups of people who provide pseudoscientific “evidence” that the pandemic was invented. What a bummer! After all, the whole world is talking and writing about it, and the whole world cannot be wrong.

I wrote an article about one of these today. Suffice it to say that he is a right-wing extremist and a believer in flat earth theory. Even if this is not the case, he will not be able to present his case anyway. This is better than dismantling your unsubstantiated arguments one by one. Why should I argue with morons?

In the shop, in line for the checkout, an attractive woman, admittedly wearing a mask, was standing right behind me so that I could almost feel her breasts on my back. Somehow such miracles didn’t happen to me before the pandemic. I pointed out to her that social distance still applies. After returning home, I had to jump into the bathtub and thoroughly disinfect myself after bathing.

I live alone because my wife left me a year ago. She didn’t like my take on the pandemic. Well, she was always stupid – that’s why I was with her. Now it is easier for me to adhere to the hygiene regime. I feel happy and fulfilled.

The author of the article: Marek Wojcik

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